16nl : our sons & brothers

holiday gang bang : round 2

16 Naked Ladies in one virtual room?
That’s a Holiday Gang-Bang.

We’re tackling the hard questions…
and getting some surprising answers.

New topic every Wednesday on laurishaw.com & thedirtygirldiaries.com

Round 2: How would you feel about your son or your brother being a client, customer or a trick? What do you want him to know?

LZ Hansen: I’d hope at some point my son would experience a prostitute. Every man should. It’s relaxing, it’s their version of going to a day spa. But I would pray he was a gentleman, tipped well, and treated the women with utmost respect. As with any addiction, I would hope he wouldn’t become a sex addict as many of my customers were. If paying for sex is recreational what’s the prob?

Lauri Shaw: I’d tell him, treat sex workers well, and pick companions he’d want to treat well. Be selective about where he spends his time and money. No zombies, no psychos, no rip-off artists. Same as if he was dating. I don’t want the men in my life to hurt anyone, nor do I want them to get hurt. Money entering the equation still doesn’t change the golden rule.

Georgina Spelvin: Better than knocking up his teenage heart-throb. What he should know? Same thing he should know vis-a-vis Heart-throb – No glove? No love! NO unprotected sex until procreation is the object.

Betty Dodson: Only if he was not abusing drugs and using a high-end escort service. I would prefer he was confident enough in his sexuality that he could provide his own orgasms alone or with partners.

Nina Hartley: Professionals are people, too, so treat them with respect. Pay for their time and ability. Speak clearly and ask for what you want. Listen to what they have to say about sex and relationships. Don’t fuss about using rubbers.

Essence Alexander: Whether my son was in a relationship or buying it, I would want it to be safe sex. If he was going to be a strip club customer, I’d want him to know that if he didn’t have a large amount of EXPENDABLE income that he should probably just buy a pack of beverages and go to a buddy’s house.

Carol Queen: I’ve actually written an essay in which I hoped my dad had access to the sex industry, so yeah, anyone in my bloodline could avail himself of erotic entertainment and it’d be fine with me. I would want him to know that he should be clear about his desires and negotiate for them respectfully; he ought to appreciate any sexworker he interacts with and know that people who provide sexual services are a special kind of person worthy of value. (This, in fact, is the sense I got from the majority of my clients, and it *should* be the basis of any of our interactions with clients/customers.)

Jodi Sh. Doff: I’d want him to understand she is for his entertainment and to treat her with the respect he’d have for a Broadway actor and the compassion he’d have for the ingenue in an off, off, off Broadway production. That the evenings end in the same way as well: when a play is over, actors go one way and the audience another. I’d want him to understand that time is money, but paying for someone’s time is simply that and nothing more, paying for their time.

Annie Sprinkle: Whores are wonderful people. Why would I have a problem? Paying for sex isn’t that different than getting a massage, a pedicure, or a gourmet meal. Its pleasurable. I’d want him to know that he needs to have the utmost respect, even reverence, for the woman, man or tranny whore that he’s with. And leave a really big tip.

Antonia Crane: I’d tell them to always tip girls on stage when they’re dancing and be generous, respectful and kind to them. If they were hiring escorts, I’d tell them them to use condoms, and tell them all about STD’s because I have a background in STD/HIV counseling. I’d want them to be safe and discreet. I’d want them to know that it’s a fantasy and not something to get emotionally invested in-even if he’s convinced that the girl really likes him-when push comes to shove, it’s a job.

Kelly Hayworth: I’d be fine with it–as long as he wasn’t acting like a jerk, was generous, polite and treated the women well. I would want him to understand that if he goes to a strip club and the girls seem to really like him, that’s because they’re working. If he turned into one of those clowns that starts talking about how he and Candy are “really good friends”, I’d have to make an intervention.

Jo “Boobs” Weldon: I would want him to understand that there is more pressure on the worker if he hassles her about whether or not she’s enjoying her work. I would tell him to simply appreciate the service and the pleasure.

Tracy Quan: I have two brothers, and would be surprised if they’ve never paid for sex. I also have a double standard. Being a punter doesn’t seem problematic or unusual, while selling sex to earn a living comes with more cultural baggage. Of course, I want my brothers to have commercial adventures only where they won’t be arrested. The laws concerning prostitution are being rewritten in many countries, and penalties against customers are becoming more common, so my brothers – if they do pay for sex – may be acquiring some of that extra baggage.That’s too bad. I hope, if my brother gets arrested, that he won’t wimp out and declare himself a sex addict in need of rehab!

Rachel Aimee: I don’t have a brother, but if I had a son who went to strip clubs, I’d want him to really understand that the relationship is about money and not get taken in and start thinking the girls actually like him. Strangely, I feel more opposed to the idea of a son or daughter of mine being a regular client of the sex industry than a sex worker. I guess I’ve just seen so many lonely guys with dysfunctional lives throwing their money away night after night and not getting much out of it. (Although my perspective is probably kinda screwed because I can’t imagine being a regular customer or client myself.) Having said that, I wouldn’t have any problem with my son being an occasional customer, as long as he had enough money to be a decent one!

PJ Starr: I assume that my brothers, cousins and male friends in general have dipped their toes into the the thrilling stream(s) of services provided by sex workers. I think about all the sex workers out there, seeing so many clients and it seems to me that the chances are that fellows I know have been (or still are) clients.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t need to know whether or not or under what circumstance my relatives and friends have paid for sex. That is their own private business. I only hope that if they have been clients, they were well-behaved, acquiesced to safe sex, paid what they were supposed to and left a nice tip if they appreciated the service. Oh, and took a shower or similar depending the service, then put the towel away neatly and put the toilet seat down.

Caty Simon: I’d feel fine about my brother seeing an escort, since as he knows his sister is one, he’d treat her with the utmost respect. The only problem I might foresee with that arrangement is that my brother’s an incurable romantic, and I hope he’d understand the boundaries of the commercial relationship going in. This question implies that some of us might feel our clients are in some way transgressing, and I don’t believe that at all. Our clients are almost always just normal men, and at best, amazing men who understand that not all sex needs to be monogamous and free of charge, despite what mainstream culture might tell us.

Next Wednesday: Round 3: Knowing everything you know today, would you do it again?

Posted December 30, 2009 at 9:00 am, filed under three naked ladies and tagged strippers, whores. Bookmark this post. Follow any comments @ RSS feed for this post.